He's the man: Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's winning smile on the cover of the PAP's 2011 election manifesto (PAP)

Election Season is electrifying for the usually apathetic Singaporean: abuzz with kick-self-in-crotch statements, absurd comparisons and carelessly hidden agendas. Historically, it has been a golden opportunity to strip stoic PAP leaders of their intellectual defences.

But, like an over-exposed Louis Vuitton piece, this barbaric behaviour is now passé. For all the perceptiveness of the vibrant ‘PAP-annoys-me’ Facebook community, they have missed their best shot at the PAP: the annoying full-white uniform, pressed to perfection and clean beyond belief.

For a party suavely labelled ‘Men In White’, they are falling undesirably below expectations. Most urgently, there is an obvious VPL situation – or what girls know as the Visible Panty Line – that mrbrown has kindly summarized as “don’t act like you never tried to see if a PAP guy has VPL through his white pants.”  Surely the PAP’s image consultants know that Singaporeans expect transparency of a rather different kind.

Then we are greeted on the official PAP website with an overwhelming megawatt smile. It’s PM Lee, now with a one-hand up ghetto greeting, looking 100% ready for a chest bump. It’s not the larger-than-life portrait that hits us: it’s the idea that our head of government, a respectable man, has such a punk smile.

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Finally, there is the classic do-not-look-at-camera-lenses pose, which sets the leaders’ gazes into the far distance, as if envisioning a wonderful land of unicorns and bunnies. But lo and behold the Singaporean landscape, which makes me wonder if they are simply looking for the nearest Kopitiam.

Truth is, the PAP doesn’t need an opposition. Its party members need an image revamp. We know that the PAP likes everything in black-and-white. That might actually work: it’s one more colour than what they have now. Do it PAP, I’m watching.